Gaming: Beating the final boss fight in Deadly Premonition (Spoilers)

I get a baffling sense of achievement from this. The latter half of Deadly Premonition is a combination of intense emotive scenes, revelation and terrible, terrible boss fights. Imagine if you had to do Bayonetta-style stuff, but with controls that handled like a month-dead cow. That’s kind of how it is.

Nevertheless, I thought I’d write up how I did it (in case I forgot). I’m using an XBox 360, so all my control mentions will be for that.

1. Preparation.

There is a boss fight directly previous to that. As far as I could tell, there was no way to stock up on health kits between the two fights. If you don’t have enough stashed in your toolbox, go back to chapter 11 and shop at the hospital with Ushah and Fiona.

I mention health because if you can’t do the Quicktime events (and I can’t), then you need to replenish your health to recover. Also change into the suit with the red shirt, which gives you more health to play with.

2. Guns.

Phase 1: Shotgun.
Phase 2: -
Phase 3: Sheriff’s Gun (Infinite), or any of the long-range, high-damage weapons.
Phase 4: SMG (Infinite).

3. Phase 1.

Kaysen will hang from the ceiling like the great Verruca Salt blob that he is. After fighting the Village People in the last chapter, nothing is especially surprising. Break out the shotgun for high damage, and it is over pretty quickly.

Wait until Kaysen swings forward close to the stage to hit him, because the shotgun is short range. He will signal his attacks with phrases like “It’s show time!” and you actually have a bit of time. Hit the “B” button (I did it twice) to roll out of the way.

Sometimes, he will send more than one fireball at a time, so be prepared for that. I just stood on the stage waiting for him to get done before I tried shooting him again.

After a certain amount of damage, Kaysen drops from the ceiling and rolls at you. A Quicktime event allows you to get out of the way. However, if like me you’re useless at pressing three random buttons in one nano-micro-pico-second, you can just run to the other side of the stage to avoid him.

When he drops to the floor, hit him as many times as you can with Mr Shotgun. I think I had to outlast three barrel-rolls when I did this fight successfully, and I was only hit once after several fireball attacks.

4. Phase 2.

Cut scene. Kaysen transforms into an obese, tonguey version of the Cheshire Cat from Disney’s Alice. You fall through the floor and an arduous chase scene begins. You must wiggle the left analogue stick to keep moving.

It goes on a long time. I sat the controller on my lap, and swapped hands. Even then I ended up with a pain in my shoulder. At intervals, you have to either press “B” to dodge fireball attacks, or four buttons in random order. I never had time for the latter, so I just took the damage. It also makes it easier to keep running. Timing my health-kit use meant I think I used a couple of medium kits and a few small ones.

5. Phase 3.

Kaysen now transforms into a gigantic version of himself holding a doll. You have to shoot the doll. It will only take damage when the red indicators close in completely.

Go to the back of the theatre of battle and use something long-range and high damage, preferably with infinite bullets. Shoot as much as you can until it looks like Kaysen is going to sneeze.

Both of his attacks are heavily telegraphed. He’s not subtle. When he looks like he’s going to sneeze, it usually means he’ll send out a purple fire ball. Stop firing and just press the B button when told.

His other attack is a spray of green stuff. It projects out from his fist, but it moves at such a pace it looks easy to dodge. Well, it would be if you were able to move easily, but you can’t. The only buttons you can use to move during this attack are left and right bumpers.

When I did this the second time, I actually found this was much easier than either of the previous stages. You just have to be patient. I used the Sheriff’s custom weapon, with infinite bullets, stopped every time he attacked, and focused on the doll. Kaysen occasionally moves around the theatre, so when he does you should try to stay away from him. He won’t attack but you need the space to see the weird green attacks.

6. Phase 4.

This is weird. Once you reduce Kaysen Doll’s health to nothing, Big Kaysen hides it in his front pocket. Wait patiently (change weapon to the SMG at this point, and reload it), and then he will slam his fist down in a green stuff attack. Avoid the attack and run forward to his fist until you see the indicator flash up telling you to press A.

Press A and climb onto his fist. Run onto his shoulder. Fire down his front, aiming for the head of the doll. You only need to hit it once, regardless of weapon.

If you can’t manage it, you will be thrown off, lose some health, and the whole Phase 4 rigmarole starts again. Best avoid that, if possible, hence the spray and pray approach.

And that is it. It pissed me off something rotten last night. The second phase is by far the hardest, just because it’s relentlessly annoying. Of course, if you were left with DP’s standard controls for getting down stairs, you’d be properly fucked. You can pause the game if your hands get tired, drop off, or you need transplants, which is something. It didn’t beat the Sibrand Assassination for time spent doing a horrible, tedious thing, but it was pretty bad for other reasons. At least, thank fuck, it’s over, and you can enjoy the last emotive moments in peace, without a quicktime event in sight.

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